Phoenix Burning
by KatiKat
Summary: King Heero is dead. Now his concubine should be burnt on the funeral pyre. Will he be saved? yaoi 1+2


Phoenix Burning 

by KatiKat

Heero is gone.

He had been missing for three days already. When Wufei came to tell us that Heero had killed the Wizard J but had been caught in the explosion himself, everybody refused to believe him. Treize- Heero's cousin, sent out search parties. He had always been supportive of Heero and never wanted to be the King. But the bad news was confirmed five hours later - Heero's sword and the body of his favourite horse were found. There was no way for Heero to survive the fire, the heat of the explosion.

My last hope died when they brought me the gold bracelet decorated with jades - the one I had given him on our bonding ceremony. That was the moment I died too.

And then the preparations for the royal funeral began. As the tradition said they should last three days during which the king's body would be prepared for the Fire Ceremony - the cleaning of his soul by the burning of his body. 

But this time there was no body waiting to be buried. But the ceremony had to take place. Even if it had only a symbolic meaning. The need to say good-bye to their favourite king who died so young brought thousands of people to the Capital City. They waited in rows along the route the empty litter would take, holding white roses in their hands - Heero's favourite flower - to throw on the ground in front of the litter. Heero's last road taken will be nestled with roses… 

But other preparations were done these last three days - the preparations of Heero's Eternal Mate: the person who will be burned on the funeral pyre with the remnants of the King. The Queen usually took this role… But there was no Queen this time, no wife who would take place at his side in Eternity, who would share his fate with him. This King had only had his Chosen One - the First Concubine… Me… So it will be me who will share Heero's fate. And that is the only thing that keeps me sane these days. If not for the certainty that I will meet my love on the Other Side I would've broken down under the onslaught of grief and desperation long ago.

Quatre was the only one from the rest of the Royal Five who grieved openly. Trowa held it together so that he could support his mate and Wufei… the weight of the guilt he felt lay on his shoulders, cracking his tough mask ever so slowly, but the break down was inevitable. His guilt had been born from his inability to save his best friend and King…

And me? When the first wave of shock had worn off, I didn't cry. A strange calmness settled over me. But still - I was sickly pale, my hands were shaking and my eyes were incredibly large. It was as if they refused to close down. An unearthly glow settled into them. I heard Quatre telling Trowa that it was as if the Other Side claimed a part of me already…  He was probably right, because how would it be otherwise possible to feel Heero… to have the feeling that he was still with me…?

I heard the murmur of voices behind the door to my chamber. When the door opened quietly I turned away from the window to greet the maidens that came to prepare me for the ceremony. No one was able to meet my eyes knowing what fate awaits me in just a short couple of hours. 

They bent down deeply and respectfully in front of me. I stood up from my chair and let them lead me to the bathroom next to my chamber. The bathtub was full of hot scented water. I could smell roses in the air. Heero's favourite scent…

I let them undress me. Then they unbranded my hair and helped me sit down in the tub. They washed my pale body. My long wet hair forced me to bend my head backwards. I closed my eyes and enjoyed their ministration knowing that it was the last time. I wanted to be beautiful for my mate. 

After the bath they oiled my body with sweet smelling oils, brushed my hair and braided it into a long, thick braid. They helped me into a black silk bath-robe and guided me back to my chamber where they left me alone for a couple of minutes before Quatre arrived with my ceremonial gown.

I wandered around the room, touching all the things that reminded me of Heero and the short time I was able to spend with him in this world. I was so lost in my memories that I almost missed the knock on my door. I invited the person to come in. It was Quatre carrying a feather light white silk robe in his hands - my funeral gown. His red and puffy eyes were so full of pain and despair that I had to look away.

"Here is the ceremonial gown, Duo," he whispered in a broken voice. I opened my bathrobe and let it slide down to the ground silently. Then I took the gown from him and he helped me dress. 

The clothes were made especially for this occasion. They consisted of tight white pants, loose white shirt and white knee-high boots. The last piece of clothes was a long white coat with wide sleeves, reaching the ground and trailing a few feet behind me. The only ornament on it was the black and red dragon embodied on the back of it - the emblem of Heero's House… It was a simple dress, no jewellery should take the attention away from the reason of the ceremony. No jewellery beside the cobalt blue pendant on the narrow necklace Heero had given me at our bonding ceremony. I fastened Heero's bracelet around my wrist. I would be buried together with my and Heero's bonding gifts. My eternal reminders of who I belong to in this world and beyond…

I heard Quatre sobbing silently behind me. I turned around and smiled sadly at Quatre. "Why are you so sad, Q?" I asked quietly.

He swallowed a couple of times, not looking at me. Finally finding his voice he whispered: "Heero is dead. And now we are loosing you too…"

I stepped in front of him and took his hand in mine. I lifted his chin with a light touch of my left hand. His eyes were overflowing with tears. "Quatre… You are not loosing me… We will meet again on the Other Side. You should be happy for me, Q. I will be together with Heero again. That's a reason for joy and not for tears."

"But…"

I shook my head. "No buts, Q. Imagine if you were in my place and Trowa was dead instead of Heero… Would you be able to live without him? To go on without him?"

Quatre thought about it for a long time trying to tell me that he would act differently from me. That he wouldn't be so ready to go to meet his own death so calmly, with a spark of joy even. But then his honest side won and he had to agree with me. He would act in the same way.

I smiled again and caressed his face with my thumb wiping off his tears. "You should grieve for Heero, not for me, Q. In just a couple of hours I will join him and I will spend Eternity with him. Nobody will be able to separate us again…"

And at that, Quatre smiled for the first time in three days. He understood. It still hurt, but he understood. 

There was a knock at the door and at my invitation it opened revealing Wufei, Trowa and the royal guards. All of their faces held compassion in them. It was time…

Six men were carrying the empty litter. White silk sheets embodied with the black and red dragon - symbol of the Yuy House - were draped over it. Heero's ceremonial clothes and his sword lay where his body should have been. 

Drums and pipes were thumping and screaming in the distance where the burial place was situated in the gardens of the Temple of Shinigami - the God of  the Lowe Kingdom. The road we were walking on turned and twisted through the city, finally arriving at the Temple. It was called the Walk of Death. Not only members of the royal family were carried along here on their last journey. The captives and murders that were sentenced to death by the royal court went this road on their way to meet their executioner, awaiting them on the square in front of the Temple. Not a happy place indeed…

I was walking right behind the litter as my right of the King's Eternal Mate stated. Behind me in two short rows were Heero's family and his closest friends. Trieze was now the future Emperor. Together with Zechs of course. He and his concubine/bodyguard where inseparable. Behind them Quatre, Heero's advisor, Trowa, the head of his secret service and Wufei, his general and childhood friend. The last one who saw him alive… The rest of the long line were soldiers, palace guards, servants - the people who lived or worked near the King and who came to say good bye personally.

The hood of my white cloak was hiding my face from the people gathered around the road. They were throwing white roses on the road in front of the group of ten royal guards who led the way. I didn't look up. I wasn't watching the empty litter that symbolized my loss. No, I was looking at the hundreds of white roses dying on the cold grey stone road. Dying like my soul had been these past couple of days… 

Another reason why I didn't look up was that I could feel their eyes on me. The eyes of all these curious people who came to not only see the burial but the *famous* Chosen One as well. To see my face for the first and last time. Well, they weren't able to see me before. As the King's First Concubine I wasn't allowed to leave the palace ground with my face uncovered. I never believed the maidens in the palace when they were whispering about how famous I am. They didn't want me to know but I could hear them. I could feel them watching me when I wasn't looking. I am sure they were one of the prime sources of rumour in the city. They were talking about the legend of my beauty. That there were people who envied Heero… I don't think there are a lot of people who envy him his fate right now…

Envied Heero… Heero… I remember our last night together clearly as if it happened just a minute ago… We were making love - madly, passionately, as if we felt that it was the last time we would be together in this world. I made him promise… no, I made him swear that he would come back to me no matter what… What a childish act. I knew there were some things nobody could influence or stop from happening. But to have this promise with me made me feel safe. The safety wasn't there anymore…

I didn't even notice that we had arrived at the temple already. The road seemed to be so long when I stepped on it. And the walk lasted such a short time…

The procession stopped as did the music. The big silver door leading to the temple's grounds opened silently and the white clad priestesses came out. There were five of them and Relena - the High Priestess - was leading the small group. Her head was uncovered as a sign of grief but there was no other outward sign of it. I knew she was hurting, that she was breaking on the inside. She loved Heero and she should have become his wife years ago. But the call of Shinigami was stronger for her than her love to a man. And so she became the wise virgin Priestess who always had advice to give, or a kind word for everybody. She even consented to mine and Heero's bonding ceremony and she was happy for us for she knew that Heero had found his soul mate in me.

The guards leading our procession stepped away and let the priestess' pass. They stopped in front of the litter and knelt down, touching the ground with their foreheads. 

"As the High Priestess of the Temple of Shinigami I welcome you on the holy ground, my King," she said in a clear, calm voice. 

I knew what my duty was. I stepped around the litter and stopped in front of the kneeling group and bowed deeply. "As the King's Chosen One I thank you for your kind words," I answered with the prescribed words. I was surprised how composed my voice sounded. 

The priestesses got up and turned back to the temple. The group spread out and waited for me to reach them. They took me in their middle and together we moved through the door. We turned to the left, heading towards one of the low ceremonial buildings. I didn't look back. I knew that the guards were taking the litter to the gardens to prepare the funeral pyre on which it would be burned. The procession followed them and the big silver door closed with a thud. The crowd wouldn't be allowed in. 

I had never been to this part of the Temple but I wasn't curious about my surroundings. Not now. All my attention was fixed upon the thought of Heero and that in a short while I would be with him again. Not one thought about the horrible, painful ceremony that lay ahead of me crossed my mind. For me, it was only a way to reach my beloved again. 

We stepped in a small airy room and with a nod of her head, Relena sent the other priestesses away. She then turned to me and removing the hood from my head, she revealed my face. A look of pain and sadness crossed her features for just a moment as she touched my cheek with her cold fingers. 

"There is no need to prepare you for what will happen, is there?" she asked in a low voice. "You are ready to embrace your fate without my support."

I nodded. "Yes. I was ready the second he left me alone, Lena. I can't live without him. So you don't have to worry about me panicking or making a scene. This is something I really want. If there wouldn't be this ceremony I would end my life anyway. 'What has once been bonded cannot be parted'. You said it yourself on our ceremony."

She nodded. I knew she understood me. She always had. 

Relena turned to the only piece of furniture, a table situated in the middle of the room. She opened the wooden box sitting on the table and took a small brown root out of it. Then, she moved around to face me again. 

"This-" she held the root between the thumb and index finger of her right hand, "-will help you through the passing. It will take the pain away. It is always done. This ceremony is here to clean the soul, not to torture the body. I will place it under your tongue and it will slowly dissipate. It's quiet strong and it will take effect pretty soon. It will numb you totally. There will be no pain, I promise."

She took my chin in her left hand I opened my mouth. She laid the root under my tongue and let me go but not before she caressed my cheek lightly. Funny, the root didn't have any taste. Any at all.

There was a quiet knock on the door behind us and at Lena's invitation one of the priestesses stepped in informing her in a quiet hushed voice that it was time. Relena nodded and with a last smile she pulled the hood forward, covering my head with it once more. We then left the small room. 

Our walk to the gardens where the ceremonial place was situated was quiet long and I could feel the numbing effect start to spread through my body. It was a strange feeling of seeing and hearing everything clearly but with no physical input. As if my body had already passed and I was only a soul drifting in the wind. 

We reached the big green square in the middle of the gardens. It could've been around 50 to 50 square meters, surrounded by wide-open areas of green lawns. The people were seated  on the ground around it's edges. The funeral pyre was situated in the middle of the square. The litter lay on a high pile of neatly cut wood, scented with exotic smelling oils. This was where my life would end...

We were walking toward the funeral pyre and I noticed the faces of my friends - their faces were calm and eyes dry even though I knew that they were crying on the inside. But they would not dishonour the ceremony. Heero was the King first and their friend second. There would be enough time to grieve later when our ashes were spread by the wind. 

I heard the sand crack under my feet and my eyes were focused, fixated on the funeral pyre-but otherwise I was numb. I was moving automatically now, doing what they were telling me. I was walking in the middle of the priestess' again, the two of them on my sides, holding my hands, leading me forward. Without it I would have been lost or tripped many times.

I didn't know what other people felt while they were facing their own death, but the only thing that filled me was joy. I would be with Heero again soon. I would embrace him and tell him I loved him and he would smile - the smile he always saved just for me. The fact that I would have to die to be with him seemed unimportant to me.

We arrived at the funeral pyre and they helped me climb the small wooden stairs. When I reached the top they seated me down in the head of the litter.

I could hear Relena whisper "Shinigami be with you" to me before they left me alone. My eyes were fixed on the long silver sword lying on top of Heero's ceremonial gown. He liked it. It was a present from Treize at his coronation. And he had had it with him when he asked me to bond with him. It seemed so long ago...

I heard Relena praying, wishing for us to reach Eternity and live in the grace of Shinigami. I fingered the bracelet encircling my wrist. And I prayed too. I hoped Shinigami would show us the way, that he would bring us together again.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Relena coming close with the burning torch in her right hand and with a final call to Shinigami, she set the funeral pyre on fire. The flames shot up to the heavens immediately and I knew that without the root that was now slowly dissipating under my tongue I would be screaming in pain. The flames didn't quiet reach me yet but my clothes had started to smoke already. It won't take long now.

Suddenly there were screams in the distance. Someone was calling for... Heero? Strange. Heero was dead. Why should someone be screaming his name? But it didn't matter to me anymore. Not only my body but my mind too was getting numb, the darkness of unconsciousness was closing around me already and I didn't fight it. When I woke up the next time I would be with Heero again. 

The screams were getting nearer. They were so loud that they managed to penetrate the fog descending on my mind. My name? Someone was calling my name? And there was so much despair in that voice. It sounded... It sounded kinda like Heero's. But Heero was dead... Strange.

I think someone had to have tackled me, throw me away from the flames because when I managed to crack my eyes open I could see the blue sky above me and not the flames. Why...? Why did someone do it? Couldn't they understand that they were ripping me away from my beloved? 

Someone lifted me from the ground and moved the hood away from my head. Who...? I thought I should open my mouth and ask but the root was shutting me down slowly. Someone moved closer to me... was kissing - ? - my lips... and he was calling me, calling my name over and over again... Who...? I blinked slowly trying to clear my view and I saw... No, it was impossible...! He... was... dead...! 

"H-h-heero-o...?" I managed to croak before the darkness claimed me at last. 

The End. 


End file.
